Motherhood and Mental Health: Finding Balance
I remember waking up before my alarm, uncertain about what the day would bring, and feeling so alone before the first light of dawn even touched the sky. The house was quiet, but my mind was already racing through a long list of tasks: make breakfast, pack lunches, make sure my older ones made it to the bus, drop my youngest off at daycare, get back on time for work, figure out if I had time to start dinner on my lunch break, plan soccer practice, and repeat. Did I manage to load the dishes last night? Did I get the laundry started? Did I check homework? Will they fight me on the outfits I picked out? My mind raced with the never-ending list of to-dos, each task piling on top of the other before I even had a chance to start my day.
Despite the constant chaos going on in my head and the actual whirlwind of being a mom, I often felt like I wasn’t doing enough or doing it right, even on the days when I barely had time to shower. Somewhere in the chaos of motherhood, it hit me: I had lost sight of myself.
Losing Your Identity as a Mom
Motherhood is undeniably transformative, but it also brings its fair share of overwhelming challenges. When you're consumed with caring for a newborn, toddler, or young children (cringing as I type this, remembering those terrible 2s and trying 3s), it becomes all too easy to lose sight of who you are outside of being a mom. As the years go by, it becomes even easier to lose yourself in the constant act of meeting everyone else’s needs. You find yourself juggling so many roles—caregiver, teacher, taxi driver, coach, PTO volunteer, chef, housekeeper, emotional support—and in all of that, where do YOU fit?
I remember feeling like I had completely lost my identity. Juggling three young children and a demanding job left me with almost no time for self-reflection. Sports, school projects, tutoring, grocery runs, laundry, sick days, finding childcare, it all consumed me. As the days seemed to pass by in a blur, I went from being a woman with dreams and ambitions to just 'Mom'—someone who wasn’t allowed to have a hard day or take a break. I didn’t even recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror.
To make things even more challenging, I had no local support system. My husband worked a demanding government job that often kept him away for months at a time, leaving me to manage the household, a career and the kids on my own, without the help of family or friends nearby. I was isolated, feeling like I was doing it all alone and that no one could truly understand the weight of what I was carrying. Then, after a 15-year marriage ended in divorce, I was forced to confront not just the demands of motherhood, but also the deep pain of rediscovering who I was as an individual after pouring everything into my roles as Mom and Wife. I felt like a failure—not just as a mom, but as a person. The Mom guilt was suffocating, and I felt completely defeated.
So, how did I create positive changes to no longer feel overwhelmed? Come back for Part 2 of this blog, where we’ll dive into setting healthy boundaries and taking those small, practical steps toward reclaiming balance. I’ll walk you through how I found my way.
If this resonates with you, don’t hesitate to reach out for a therapy consult—I’d love to help you through it, as someone who truly understands.
Email me at dina@bettycenterconnect.com.