Bettianne – Our Betty Center Inspiration
Our founder, Christa Bellanca, on the guiding force behind Betty Center.
My mother, Elizabeth Anne Fisch Welch (Bettianne), was always beautiful. Growing up in Bayside, New York, she was known for her stunning looks and athletic prowess. She was selected as New York City’s Summer Festival Queen in 1960, traveled the world representing her beloved Big Apple, and segued into a successful modeling career. She married, had three children, and enjoyed the occasional NYC modeling shoot while focusing on raising her family. Sounds ideal…and it was.
Until it wasn’t.
My brother Danny developed a rare form of childhood cancer in his toddler years, and because the medicines available to treat him were not as sophisticated as they are today, he was left with significant physical, mental and developmental impacts that made his life incredibly difficult. Access to special education services - which we take for granted today - barely existed in Danny’s day, so my mother channeled her inner momma bear into strong (sometimes loud) advocacy on his behalf.
Then my father left, and my mother became a single mother to three children (ages 15, 13 & 7). She moved us from our comfortable home on Long Island, NY to a small townhouse in Vienna, Virginia near her sister (my Aunt Nancy) and promptly went to work to financially support us. Because my father didn’t, and wouldn’t…and back in those days, the child support laws were ineffectual and meaningless and also, no one really cared. Divorce was mostly a forbidden topic and we were “those people” and my mother was “that poor woman”. Hard to imagine in today’s world, but that’s how things were.
So we settled into a different kind of life - of struggle and sacrifice and painful nights spent balancing checkbooks that didn’t balance. Borrowing money from family to make ends meet. Worrying about Danny making friends and being laughed at by people who didn’t know him - or us - and didn’t understand what he’d been through. Trying to fit into a traditional community when we were the outsiders. And that’s where the story might have ended, had Bettianne been willing to accept her seemingly dismal fate.
But she wasn’t.
Bettianne was nobody’s chump. Not my father’s or the New York legal system…not the Virginia education system nor the 1970’s & 80’s culture that deemed her “less-than” for simply being abandoned by her husband. She discovered her inner warrior, straightened her long-ago Summer Festival Queen crown, and fought back. For us, for herself, and eventually, for others.
She fought for Danny to ensure equal access to every educational opportunity available to him, and passionately cheered him on when he graduated from high school (which she was told he would never do). She helped him find access to a job, make friends in the church choir, and live a life of dignity and purpose. She served on the board of directors at Arundel Lodge in Annapolis, MD, his home until almost the time of his passing last year. She was a passionate and effective board member - never quiet, never satisfied with the status quo, and always pushing for the best outcomes not just for Danny but his fellow Arundel Lodge residents. With my mother, it was important to be prepared, because she would politely but fearlessly challenge anyone on issues of unfairness and inequality and she rarely, if ever, backed down.
In 1980, she asked our priest at St. Mark’s Catholic Church permission to host a support group for divorced Catholics - not to talk but to revamp Virginia’s antiquated child support laws. He not only agreed, he helped the group craft innovative legislation for wage garnishments for outstanding child support. Yes, Bettianne was on the front lines enacting the very first child support enforcement legislation in our nation! We called our group For Our Children’s Unpaid Support (FOCUS) and while there were only 5 or 6 moms (and one brave dad) in our posse, we managed to barnstorm the state and get the laws changed on behalf of the many families like ours not receiving the child support to which they were legally entitled.
Bettianne was a force. She reinvented herself time and time again. Got knocked down but kept getting up. Taught us to recognize and speak out against injustice, racism, misogyny, and disrespect. While I was growing up, she took a low-paying job at the Bell Atlantic telephone company (which became Verizon) and turned it into a fulfilling, meaningful career creating and delivering a hugely successful nationwide Small Business Symposium series. She signed on as my Girl Scout leader while working full-time as a single mom because our troop didn’t have a leader. She was never complacent nor content with mediocrity.
She always pushed instead of taking the easy way. She took us to Washington DC to the Smithsonian museums when we wanted to go to the mall. She took us to the library each Monday when we wanted to watch Family Feud. She read us the classics, took us to the theater to see Shakespeare and Phantom of the Opera, and dragged us to every conceivable festival, fair and parade you can imagine. Mass on Sunday was totally non-negotiable, along with every feast day on the Catholic calendar including my birthday (insert eye-roll here).
She instilled in us a deep love and respect for America, democracy, and the political process and its impact on the lives of everyday citizens. She hosted the best birthday parties, decorated with a vengeance for every holiday (especially Christmas), and taught us how to make people feel welcome.She adored her family - and those she considered family - and never tired of being the very best Grammie to her four grandchildren. She served, she cheered, she showed up. She wasn’t perfect, and could be grumpy and demanding, but she never asked more from us than she demanded from herself.
She was a role model who started as a fashion model. A beauty queen who became beautiful not just for her appearance but for her moral conscience, determination and devotion to her faith, flag and family. With her spirit alive in me - and my own daughter (her grandaughter) Isabel - we are proud to honor her legacy by bringing forth Betty Center.
Inviting women to nurture, explore and realize their authentic selves.
Bettianne
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Arline
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Nancy
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Eleanor
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Betty
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Dolly
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Rita
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Virginia
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Bettianne • Arline • Nancy • Eleanor • Betty • Dolly • Rita • Virginia •